Adjustments

Today I cut out my evening dose of Wellbutrin. I’m still going to take it in the mornings, but I’ve decided to see if that once a day will do. It’s because I’m veering toward mania. Oh, I’m not, but I’m definitely hyper. I can’t seem to stop humming a random musical phrase. I do it ALL the time, unconsciously, obsessively. That stops me from calming my mind to a point where I can meditate.

And I am tongue-lashing. I have constant involuntary jaw movement, along with constant involuntary tongue movement. My tongue always is pushing, probing, pressing against my teeth. This causes it to hurt. I don’t have the clenching or grinding I had on the Zoloft or Celexa. I honestly don’t know if this is an aftermath of those two meds or if it’s new with the Wellbutrin. Cutting back on my dose will probably show something.

Everybody says I’m better now. I’m a bit afraid of this. It may just be because it’s new and I haven’t adjusted. That’s a very real possibility – the familiar was not fun, but it was known. I admit, I AM much more alert, I’m one hell of a lot happier, and I FEEL better: more awake, more energetic.

Just like I used to feel when I was flying on a manic high – only those were SOOO much more intense. I suppose I haven’t been this high on the emotion scale in so long I’m finding it scary.

So I’m cutting back on the dose to see if that settles me into a more comfortable place. Adjusting myself allows me to do the field testing without the Dr. changing the rules of combat. Now to see what happens.

I ran errands this morning, getting home before the heat hit. Vivian got me some tacos for lunch, so I stopped by her place and ate. Told her to go take a nap, and I headed up here for mine. Seems like the best thing to do during the blistering heat – 100s – is to siesta. Just stay out of it. There’s plenty of time to go do stuff after it cools off.

I filled up my gas tank. That was only $35. Pretty good. Scoped out the washateria next door to the gas station for Vivian, who needs to go launder three bedspreads. I found they had three sizes of gigantic washers. $3.25, $4.25, and $5.25. The attendant at the dry cleaning counter said the biggest one would take two bedspreads easy. I also found out something interesting: their dryers give you 8 minutes for a quarter. On some of the machines you can put in multiple quarters, on others you gotta do it one at a time. Strange. Still, now we know where she can go to wash.

I’m buying yogurt now. The local HEB has big tubs of flavored “light” yogurt for about a $1.60. I find I can fill up on a small serving. There’s protein in it, and the carbs make me feel full. Maybe I can get through this Summer on it. I AM feeling lighter.

Jim called. He was waiting on the air conditioning guy to come out to Jimmy’s. When Jimmy got home today it was close to 115 inside. His cat was almost prostrate. He opened all the windows and turned fans on, trying to keep the cat from being brain-damaged. Hope the guy can fix the unit tonight. It’s too hot to sleep uncool.

I’ve been getting Vivian to cut my hair. We’ve been using my battery powered beard trimmer. The last time she cut my thatch, it sounded like it was really slowing down – and it had been charging several days. So I got out to WalMart and found a corded hair clipper set for $10. Figured what the hell – if I get a year’s worth out of it, it was worth it. Lately Viv’s been telling me the back of my neck’s real hairy, and wants to trim it up. So I think I’m gonna try getting her to use the new toy tomorrow afternoon. That way I can come take a cool shower afterward, and nap comfortably. This afternoon, when I was trimming my beard, I took a swipe at the fluffing over my ears. I did pretty good, I think – it looks like I got a haircut last week. We’ll have to experiment on the spacing combs, however. I have no idea how close they’ll cut.

Got my annual truck registration renewal notice today. It’s due in August, so I can wait till I get my check. This year it’s $59. That’s not too bad for a 91 half ton.

I’ve been getting blitzed by car insurance ads on Vivian’s TV. Even on the Food network, they pump those ads every break. The latest has the Allstate spokesman saying people who switch from Geico save over $300 a year. I’m now convinced it’s worth calling around to see what prices run. All I gotta have is the state minimum. So it’s a matter of monthly cost.

Vivian’s birthday party is coming up sometime at the end of this month. I don’t have a date yet, apparently the older daughter hasn’t mailed out invitations. Or, more likely, she hasn’t mailed one to me. The younger daughter has offered to take us. Vivian’s adamant that I’ll be there. So it really doesn’t matter if I get an invite or not. I AM wondering what to wear: maybe my Guayabera. It looks formal in an informal way, and doesn’t have any stains on it. At least I’ll be cool in it.

One of her grandsons is visiting here on his way from Australia to Japan. Changing jobs. No, I have no idea what he does, but he’s apparently in great demand. Must be nice. Job security in times like these is better’n gold in the bank. And he’s having fun overseas! Maybe I’ll get to meet him.

Right now my biggest problem is trying to figure out when I’m going to walk each day. I have the place, the route, the distance figured out, I just don’t have the time. If I go too early in the evening, Vivian blows a gasket worrying about me being out in the heat. I honestly don’t think I’m in too much danger walking around 6:30-7, but with these seriously hot days, I have to watch how I’m feeling. The Lamictal has warnings that I need to be careful of temperature extremes. Still, if I do eight laps, that shouldn’t be too bad. And I will come up here for a cool shower immediately afterward. I’ll be fine, and the VA doctors will be happy with me. I NEED to walk, for my blood pressure, my cholesterol, my weight, my restless leg syndrome, but most of all for my mental health. Walking – what our bodies were designed to do – makes the whole package work better, from digestion to strength to lung health to brain function to sexual prowess to financial acuity to…well, maybe not financial acuity. But everything else has been shown to be better when you walk at least two miles a day. So I gotta bite the bullet and do it. Regularly.

I’m gonna eat something, then head down to see Vivian. She made coffee, even though I want iced tea. Oh, well, no worries.